Before you run off, let me explain. We have already established a person/ a pet/ a place above
who you can confide in. The conversation will feel the same way as you already had, but we
want to release it to the outer world. Let’s open our bag of spiky heavy rocks and take some of
them out. They are not ours to keep!
But what if I end up with more rocks, you might ask?
We might never throw away any rocks if we do not attempt to open the bag. Opening a bag with
that special someone can give you something you need: empathy. We want you to know it is
possible to go through this, and if you have hidden something so heavily, please know that you
don’t have to do that any longer.
And even when you are unable to speak it out to the special someone, you might be able to
release it through the internet anonymously, but let’s not engage any further. Once we throw a
rock into the sea, let’s not wait for a random stranger to dive in, find that rock to return it to us!
Processing shame is a skill that, fortunately, requires no age limit or previous experience.
Unfortunately, it was not widely discussed until recently, which means many older adults might
have to learn for the first time, with a bigger resistance than what you have. If you want, you can
help them by becoming an example of a shame processor! With this skill, it is 100% possible for
you to wake up tomorrow, get dressed, and calmly walk into that forbidden place again.
Additional resources:
Brené Brown:
Listening to shame
The Safe Way To Share Your Shame Story
