If you meet a group of people, they may all look happy and healthy. But are they?
It’s very likely that more than a few people in the group have an invisible disability that impacts their daily lives. They might say that they have good and bad days or bad and worse days. I know many people who have an invisible disorder and I do as well.
Invisible Disabilities might be broken down into bone, muscular, mental, nervous, and seizure disorders, chronic injuries, pain, and fatigue, heart or lung conditions, multiple chemical sensitivities, diabetes, bowel diseases, and fibromyalgia. But then I’m likely missing more than a few.
While researching this topic, I learned about how people who live with an invisible disability are challenged daily. They may have dietary restrictions, severe allergies that limit their comfort in public spaces, and/or mental health disorders that complicate their interactions or comfort level with others. They have to deal with impacts on their ability to work, participate in school, travel, and other activities.
They didn’t choose to have a disability but often feel self-conscious, ashamed, marginalized, and isolated. Many developed a health condition or were involved in an accident that changed their life as a child or teen. They miss the experiences and friends they used to have only a year or two earlier.
Like everyone, they want to feel accepted as they are and want to be the best person they can be. Yet they are most often not believed when they request support and are misunderstood by the general public. They may make every effort to appear “normal” and keep their disability less obvious, but that usually leads to microaggressions such as invasive questions, inappropriate jokes, and exclusion intended to make the person feel less worthy. Many won’t seek support because they will once again have to explain themselves or will feel embarrassed. and may not want special accommodation that others might see as unfair.
For many, the emotional pain of being questioned about the legitimacy of their health condition can hurt almost as badly as the condition itself. Yet they are not asking for pity, only understanding and compassion.
Unfortunately, in our capitalist society, disabilities are seen through a discriminatory lens. There is a cultural bias that favors those who are seen as “normal” and an oppressive social construct called ableism. It enforces the idea that disabled people deviate from the norm.
Far too often in our society have institutions recognized the need to provide support and level the playing field in education/work environments so that everyone can contribute and be the best they can be. For instance, accommodating a student with an invisible disability with extra time to complete assignments would compensate for their mental health condition, but may be viewed as being unfair by others. Words like lazy, snowflake, slow, incapable, attention seeking, or hypersensitive are ways to put down a person with different needs. Instructors might believe the student is exaggerating/feigning an illness or being dishonest about their situation. This is an example of ableism, defined as subtly or directly portraying another as being less than non-disabled people.
Ableism can also be:
- asking invasive questions
- asking how much they are disabled or how they became disabled
- talking about them instead of to them
- speaking for them
- framing a disability as tragic or inspirational
- Using phrases such as “Are you off your meds?”, “I’m super OCD about how I organize”, “you don’t look disabled” or “I don’t think of you as disabled”. Phrases like these are insulting and devalue the person with a disability
How can you be supportive of a person with an invisible disability?
- Be open and curious
- Take time to listen and believe what is shared with you
- Be kind, respectful and don’t make assumptions
- Encourage open and positive discussions about their needs
- Know that anyone can become disabled through illness, accident, or allergies
- Focus on their strengths; yes, they have a health condition but they also have talents and skills
- Be proactive and offer support; this person is not fragile and is a valuable member of your society
- Realize that although you know someone with the same disability everyone’s needs can be different
- Understand that you do not need to know the details of their condition in order to accept them as they are
- Respect their privacy and know that only they get to decide who knows what about their disability
- Don’t judge their decisions about what they can and cannot do. They know what they are capable of and what they need to do in order to take care of themselves
Recognize ableism when you hear it and check your own stereotypes about people with
disabilities.
While noting that there is no neutrality when it comes to othering and belonging, John A.
Powell, Director of the Othering & Belonging Institute at the University of California,
states, “Either we reach across to other groups and towards our inherent, shared
humanity and connection while recognizing that we have differences or we pull away
from other groups and then support practices that dehumanize them.”
References:
www.InvisibleDisabiliitiesWeek.org
www.inspire.com/groups/invisible-disabilities-association
www.apa.org/ed/precollege/psychology-teacher-network/introductory-psychology/ableis
m-negative-reactions-disability#:~:text=Ableism%E2%80%94prejudice%20and%20discr
imination%20aimed,inherently%20inferior%20to%20nondisabled%20people.
www.youtube.com/watch?v=_b7k6pEnyQ
