Decorate The Halls, Dodge The Stress: Guide You Toward A Genuinely Joyful Holiday.

“The truth is our Great Holiday To-Do List, is a monster that nobody, not even Martha Stewart herself, could complete without a staff of helpers.” —Rebecca Cofino, author of Stress-Free Holidays.

Holiday stress—the special species of stress that masquerades behind the smiles and joyful carols associated with the holiday season. It was amusing to see a recent Oreo commercial step out of the “seasonal boundary” of just focusing on the one-sided attractiveness of holidays, but also featuring a web of festive chaos that comes along as “byproducts,” such as smashed bowls of creams, burnt dinner, tangling streams of Christmas lights, and people staggering in the rush to meander across crowded aisles with wobbly, wonky carts. The greatest wonder in the problematic scenarios imposed by the Oreo commercial was that isn’t holiday and break supposed to be the most enjoyable and relaxing time of the year? Why are they trying to ruin the mood by showing scenes drowned in cacophony?

The truth is, holidays are not entirely enjoyable. People only enjoy a portion of it, the rest is considered unpleasant, if not stressful. Imagine desperately squatting on the floor scanning for budget-friendly gifts in the most inconspicuous corners of store shelves; attending endless festival parties and potlucks with a mandatory cheerful smile hooked on the face; all the while, enduring the unceasing repetition of the song “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town.” There are countless unmentioned examples that we all experienced spontaneously as the holiday proceeded;, in a survey conducted by Healthline based in San Francisco, 62% of respondents claimed long holiday seasons were “Highly stressful or somewhat stressful.” Only 10% of respondents managed to respond “No stress at all.” Generally speaking, I figured that all the activities that were considered unenjoyable, from dealing with toppled Christmas trees to relentless shopping trips, to having to spend an entire day awkwardly with distant relatives, to the postponed realization that an exam is inhumanly placed after the delight can be classified into four primary reasons explaining the general lack of enthusiasm, or more accurately, hatred, towards them.

Economic factors. We have all seen an increase in advertising frequency before and during holiday seasons when flyers were jammed in our mailboxes, promotions online and offline enticed us with products experiencing the most exclusive discount of all times, and confessions with retailers pressurized us with limited offers or early-bird specials. Some businesses put in arduous amounts of effort trying to seize the annual holiday season—the most vulnerable time for customers to make impulsive purchases without second-guessing. Corporations aimed to gain popularity and profit by urging people to buy as much as they could. This approach, while automatic, valid, justified, and feasible, can be deemed unnecessary. However, if we buy more, often wasting a lot of our own money on items that we don’t even need just because external pressure dictates our decision-making, it’s a questionable, oppressive sales mechanism that they exploit in the first place. If we don't need as many gifts, foods, and luxuries in the first place, shouldn't we resist the tactics no matter how hard a sales professional forces us or demands us to buy, we won't be swerved because we do not need the products of their interest in the present?

Well, one way to induce an elevation in consumer expenditure was to apply the rule of scarcity. Stores add a short time restriction in which discounts are effective. After the expiry date, perhaps a product will no longer be sold at a highly desirable price. The lack of time prevents customers from contemplating whether they need it now, even under the tempting thought that they might need it in the future was enough to motivate them into buying a presently useless product in case they ever require it. Thus, people usually cannot afford to hesitate in the fear that a good deal is gone and will never appear again. Obviously, with our uncontrollable and often unconscious inclination to overspend during the holidays, and others’ deliberately employed sales techniques to push us over the edge even more, the astonishing realization of going over budget and wasting all our savings on one occasion became a prevalent reason that adds to holiday stress.

Social media impact. Advanced technology infiltrates every part of our lives and the worst afflicted area is sharing our memories and important moments (like holidays) on social platforms. What we see through social media is essentially “commercially-motivated and engagement-maximizing” models for social reputation, completely illustrated when the fulfillment of vanity comes first and the truth comes second to distort reality. Mechanically there are many ways to do it, but there are two most significant methods that fall in relevance to the increasing holiday stress in our culture:

Information flooding distortion is the built-in programs of social media and commercial apps searching for certain relevant information to repeatedly pop up on a user’s screen based on their viewing history in the hope that they can keep on scrolling. Not only do users generally get more entranced and entertained by the overly convenient lure, but it will also cause a misconception of believing what is popular, because if the same or similar thing is constantly being spread and recommended online, people plunge into the snare of social proof, sometimes erroneously thinking something is the highly approved consensus in their environment when there are existing cheaper and equally efficient alternatives available in the market merely unpopular without the assimilation online. Disregarding the higher chance of potential customers not knowing these products exist, even with opportunistic viewing, they suffer a higher level of doubt and label it as a contingency. This further contributes to why assigning a holiday budget is no longer helpful if not stressful in the modern world.

Engaging content distortion is the aftermath of the ongoing competition between different media post creators who all want to achieve the accomplishment of making the most viral video or post. To outshine others, people resort to spam-like posting frequency, hyperbolic language, and risky, sometimes outrageously irrational acts that we think a mentally stable individual wouldn’t dare to try, all for the sake of drawing attention or impressing the spectators. For more prevalent, aesthetic cases, online influencers imposed an unrealistic standard of perfection that others are convinced to imitate to produce, with dismay, their discouraging failure. For we often cannot distinguish or remember the flawless online celebration layout was nothing but hoaxes pieced together. The immaculate setup of banquets, and the cordial and respectful aura of an entire family sticking to their chair, in combination with the extravagant furniture in the background; it’s just not what the home of an ordinary, middle-class person looks like. Yet through their stratagem of selectively omitting the tiniest detail that might undermine their stereotypical public image, influencers intentionally eliminated even the most irrelevant aspects in their lives that may convey imperfection.

On the brighter side, refraining from sharing extra misery and frustrations online is an understandable and compassionate act since everyone else already carried enough in their bags. But it sends a fundamentally wrong message that implies the whole world celebrates with everything perfectly worked out for them as unrealistically, only one or two unfortunate families were tangled in their mess trying to prepare and accommodate for the festivals; then skeptically, it’s exceedingly unfortunate that the one or two families include the majority as opposed to the minority. Thus, sometimes, the disparaging and pretentious intent of a flawless, heavenly holiday experience would only induce a feeling of dissatisfaction, inadequacy, and depression in those who watched their comparatively less exciting and affectionate vacation.

Personal experience. There’s a division between celebratory practices depending on each family's traditions and religion. For instance, some Christians celebrate Christmas to honor the birth of Christ while other Christians argue the birthday association with Christ was mixed with Catholic impurities and was considered hypocritical if celebrated. Paradoxically, some regardlessly celebrate while others hold steadfastly to their religious commitment. When religion and current culture contradict, it creates intrapersonal confusion toward celebration as individuals are simply torn between the urge to celebrate and sustaining their wavering faith. Religion is not a rather simple matter of doctrines and teachings; it is a collection of the sense of belonging, protection, and dignity that humans need to achieve the utmost psychological well-being; doing something against the religion is equivalent to cutting off the inner supply and mental support.

Nowadays, religious influence has become heavily underestimated and devalued as theories and historical evidence keep on trying to marginalize an individual's choice to celebrate or not. We can see a new generation of young children and foreign-displaced relatives were cultured by their religion-neglecting society to expect celebration from everyone in the community to achieve conformity in celebratory acts despite being contrary to their family customs. It disintegrates family unity and fosters a profound feeling of disappointment and detachment among specific family members. They may think it’s only their family not exchanging Christmas gifts or engaging in festival activities. As our society was involuntarily advocating for celebration compliance rather than encouraging or understanding a range of personal values and beliefs that lead to celebratory diversity, the crack in the precipice of celebration would only carve deeper as the fissure accumulated years of stressful dilemma that many denominations might face and suffer in the seemingly most joyful time.

The sudden transition to holiday-induced an abrupt change in a person’s time management priority, attitude, and overall atmosphere in the environment. It's stressful suddenly facing a completely altered daily schedule and the lack of motivation to resume tasks that started before the break. It’s imperative to recognize that mindset flexibility or “shifting sets,” will decrease this stressful state of mind as Ellen Braaten, an associate professor at Massachusetts General Hospital said, “The tough part is the shifting set, which can be hard for us at any point in the year, is particularly pervasive at the holidays.” Theoretically, these words may make sense, but it’s more easily said than done. The problem is, for many people, holidays were not considered every day, the super relaxing time was a period jammed between the busiest spans consummating our duties. Everyone was trying to get more done before the holiday began so we could enjoy our own time without disruptions, but it also means people will be likely trying to catch up, compensating for our hyer-relaxation under the expectation to resume working with high ferocity immediately after. But it’s impossible. It’s like suddenly started working like an engine after weeks of dilapidation.

We place such a high demand on our brain’s ability to change while ignoring its attainability; it’s two completely disconnected cognitive models to interchange: between vacation lethargy and the usual bustle. Our brains are reluctant to change whether it is in a positive or a negative direction because we form habit loops, the unthinking pattern of behavior that upon feeling the trigger or cue, the remaining actions cruise without us evening considering if that’s what we should be or want to do. These loops help our brain to conserve energy since it only has to activate the same parade of neurons to fire signals that become habitual and effortless. Conversely, to shatter that loop, an area at the base of our brain called the basal ganglia, has to function in a prostrating fashion, constantly exerting energy to correct the behavioral tendency. It’s like asking the brain to work overtime as we are squandering the brain's storage energy on a myriad of other things, so the normal brain reaction is to retaliate against the decision of executing a new behavior by producing a repelling sensation that we register as stress or pain. Therefore, the complex link between the neurological procedure of habituation and the shifting holiday ambiance explains why holiday stress comes in stockpiles the closer we get toward the end of the holiday and the unconventionally strong sense of boredom, having nothing to do when the holiday first begins.

With our exploration of numerous reasons that contribute to holiday stress, everyone throughout the holiday will experience different degrees and lengths of stress that some can wave off in a fleeting moment while others struggle to summon up the strength to even cultivate a joyful feeling the entire time. Does that mean the holidays are not something as enjoyable as we thought it was? Well, the problem is not with the holiday (even if we could complain about the date, duration, and establishment of the holiday, there's nothing much that we can do about it), it’s the subconscious mental reminder that we bored with ourselves as we entered the holiday threshold.

Occasionally, especially on occasions, our emphasis is not on enjoying the company and experiences that we can have with others, but on chasing the transient thrill of showing off on our social media account how fancy the holiday passed, which may explain the majority of our unnecessary, over budget, but desirable spendings. However, it’s not to say we just let the precious holiday slip away due to our excessive concern for the restricting budgets. There are always costless ways to make our families and visitors merry without stubbing a hole in our bottom lines. Instead of setting unrealistically high standards belonging to a perfectionist, being one is great, but less so in terms of holiday expectations. When we plan everything down to the most irrelevant details to ensure the vacation progresses exactly according to plan, it’s the same time that makes everything mistakenly appear more disorganized and imperfect. A most memorable trip is one that retains surprises and a mutually optimistic attitude enjoying what we have and what we could have. We should nurture a mindset that realizes there’s no need for religious compromises just for the sake of conforming to societal expectations. It’s always within understanding and acceptance for people who either choose to engage in celebration or choose not to. Furthermore, we have to avoid succumbing to the rigid notion that absolute accomplishment must precede enjoyment or incinerating the schedule down to the solitary roots of leisure, filling every day with nothing but activities of entertainment. It will make the return to work or school an undeniably daunting task.

Whatever the core reason that sprouts stress in our being is, the article seeks to help us navigate through the most unconventional, yet highly ignored and prevalent stress among all as it could altogether waste our best and rarest times. Generously, with the stress and pressure eliminated, may the hope of everyone sharing an equally fabulous holiday season become a reality this year. Season’s greetings.

References

http://mamaguru.com/the-real-reason-you-have-holiday-stress-and-how-to-avoid-it/ https://ceoworld.biz/2019/01/04/diminshing-commericalism-greed-leading-companies-and-the-future/

https://www.allsides.com/blog/8-ways-social-media-distorts-our-realities https://hms.harvard.edu/news-events/publications-archive/brain/holiday-stress-brain

https://www.healthline.com/health/holiday-stress https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-cube/202212/the-psychology-of-christmas-and-its-contradictions

https://chadd.org/adhd-news/adhd-news-adults/get-ahead-of-holiday-stress-and-enjoy-the-season/

https://www.wfla.com/bloom-tampa-bay/the-power-of-habit-why-our-brain-resists-change-and-how-to-overcom e-it/#:~:text=Our%20brain%20resists%20change%20because,behavior%2C%20so%20it%20conserves%20en